In an attempt to accelerate the process, to overcome the discomfort of these growing pains…
This overwhelming desire to abandon the mission like Jonah running from Nineveh, that’s a glimpse of how I’ve been; wrestling with you, to change the course of my trail, that’s me uselessly circumventing these growing pains…
At every turn; at every argument, at every smart observation; you presented me with a mirror of us…, of me…,a reflection of you with me! I, deflated in my shame, my head bowed down in understanding obedience for I saw how foolish I’ve been in trying to run away from these growing pains…
So I plead with you help me to stay steadfast in this call, help me to let go of all but you, help me to care more about the growth then the satisfaction I’m seeking. Help me to let go of the mundane in me, so I can be about the higher things of you. Help me to surrender even if it hurts for the pain of your absence is greater than any growing pain…
Is this how a butterfly must feel as it pushes its way out of the cocoon, that safety nest, enraptured all around by the protection of your being; but I asked to grow, to grow closer, to grow higher, to grow deeper, farther, further…
I’m squeezed through in the making, in the leap of faith and calling, in the asking and receiving, in the knowledge and understanding, holding on to the wisdom of your timing, not too late or too soon.
For at every turn I was too soon, help me grow in obedience, patience, long suffering, help me to abide and surrender to your will for the Spirit wants but the flesh is weak! Let your will be done! For who will stand with me in this moment of prayer, for birth is an individual experience, an excruciatingly beautiful transformation of life into expression! A demonstration of your glory, a cry out of victory, a flight into freedom.
For my entire journey into this new expression of being is to catch the perfect wind that will lead me back to you. In a majestic surrender into your glory, your power and the love that gave birth to it all!
Tears….
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